26 and tired. — that’s me in 3 words.
I guess I am at a point in my life where I am in a crisis; one where you keep sinking, regardless of the paddling — for a while I have been denying it, but now I am accepting it. finally accepting it.
Remember when your parents (or your friends) tell you “it’s gonna be okay…” and then you immediately (or not immediately) start to self-soothe? — this is the first time in my entire life that I am beginning to wrap my head around those few words and believing in each one of them, and then start self-soothing.
I was wrong all those years to just proceed with convincing myself that I was going to be fine after hearing those words, not realizing or understanding that it means you need to believe it, that you need to do something about what’s happening so that things eventually turn out to be “okay“.
Nothing is instant. Not even your instant coffee.
Fall seven times, get up eight.
I don’t know how many times I fell already, can’t say it was easy getting up, heck! looking at the state I’m at, I can’t even tell if I actually got up at all.
Maybe, I’m holding myself back. Maybe, I hesitate too much? or Maybe, I haven’t tried hard enough.
That’s for me to find out.